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January 28, 2012

Identity

Who are we, really? Everywhere we go, different expectations are placed on us. It's our responsibility to somehow, seamlessly switch from one character to another: daughter, sister, friend, student, singer, actress, Baker's Wife, violinist, girlfriend...and everything else we do, each part expected to be perfect. Sometimes, we just can't keep up with all of our parts, and one of them falls down, lost in the jumble of forgotten hopes and dreams, until we stop for a minute. We bend down, put all of expectations down for a second, find the missing piece, put it back on our shoulders and struggle on. And sometimes, in that jumble of dropped expectations, you find that the one you've been carrying was the wrong one all along. So you drop it, forget it, and pick up the right one. But some, no matter how hard you try, you can't put down and forget about. The weight of society has pushed them onto your shoulders for so long that they've become a part of you. No matter how much you disagree with the part, you can't escape it, because society forces you to act like something you're not, something that can't be right. So to escape, you run up onstage, where you're required to be someone you're not. It doesn't seem like it, but it's an escape because you're forced to be something that could be right.

5 comments:

  1. "Acting is a nice childish profession - pretending you're someone else and at the same time selling yourself."

    Katharine Hepburn

    You're in good company.
    XX

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oops...I do hope you don't consider that an insult...I'm definitely not implying that you are childish...except in the good way.
    Katharine Hepburn is (was) one of my top five favourite actresses EVER. Do you like her films?
    XX

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can relate to this one... I think this might be a life-long challenge, though maybe with fewer roles to play the older you get? Someone very smart (your mother) told me that it was okay to 'try people on' when I was your age. You can be many different definitions in one, if you so choose! Grandpa M would remind you, if you follow the whole 'To thine own self be true...' thang, you really can't go wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree that there's less of "playing you" and more of "being you", the older you get. I think we all regress from time to time when we lose equilibrium due to (usually) external influences. It seems to me, C., that you are light years ahead of your time in knowing yourself and recognizing the "roles" that resonate strongest. You will always bring different facets to different people, I think. I know CAM has a solid spot in many, many hearts; I hope you feel all that love and support.
    (And, I have to edit AMD's comment: it was Great Grandpa Cummins who signed GrMarie's book with the "...to thine own self be true..." quote, but, 'oh mine goodness', how appropriate to repeat it here.)
    XX

    ReplyDelete
  5. How very, very appropriate, yes. We McEwens tend to be...well...awesome.

    ReplyDelete

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